Polly and the Vulcans
by hisluv
Summary: Trip entertains his friends with a story his nephew wrote.
1. The Adventures of the VHCV Soval

Polly and the Vulcans

_**

* * *

Key.**_

Sentences/ words that are **_bold _**and in_ italics, _are direct thoughts.

Random _italic _words in a sentence are emphasis.

"_Italics with speech marks"_ signify that what is being said within the speech marks is some distance away.

**Bold** is Onomatopoeia.

"**_Bold, italic, and speech marks"_** signify telepathic speech.

**

* * *

A/N- I got this idea while writing on another story which isn't finished yet. I was trying to think what season to set it in, and I started thinking about doing an AU- but came up with this instead. Whole paragraphs and sentences in italics signify what is being read.**

I've been writing a lot more ever seeing 'These are the Voyages', which is full of crap. I don't know when this will be posted, though. I tried posting some stuff back in June, but the system had changed. I went through all the steps up until the bit where you had to say whether you had read the rules or not if you were posting a new story. After I had pressed yes, the next step was to choose the category; only all that came up was a blank window which was a few inches tall and wide, with 'Choose Category' in the blue bit. I waited for ages, but nothing happened.

Anyway, I've obviously managed to post things now.

**

* * *

Disclaimer- Only those of the V.H.C.V. Soval belong to me.**

* * *

Chapter 1- The Adventures of the V.H.C.V Soval

"_Commander, report!"_

"_No bio-signs that I can determine- possibly an un-manned ship. The weapons, however, appear to have some biological aspects."_

_The Captain nodded as he digested that information, his body bracing itself as another blast shook the ship._

"_Sub-Lieutenant Maled, return-"_

"Hang on- Maled?" Reed turned to Trip, who had been reading aloud from the data pad held in his hand to the rest of the senior crew as they sat together for a change at a table in the Mess Hall, eating their lunch. It was something Trip had just received in a transmission from one of his nephews on Earth, and hadn't had time to read it yet. In a message before the story, his nephew had asked if he could read it to the rest of the senior crew, and, on finding them all in the Mess Hall, Trip had decided to do so.

"Yeah," Trip replied to the lieutenant's question. "Mal from Malcolm and Ed from Reed equal Mal-ed- see?"

"No, I don't see. Why does my alter ego have to have a goofy name like 'Mal-ed'?" Malcolm mocked the name.

"Wha' am I supposed ta do abou' it? Ma youngest nephew wrote the story, not me, and I'm damn proud of him. Besides, Reed i'n't a very Vulcan name, now, is it?"

"I for one," interrupted the Captain before Trip's expression could get any stormier, "can't wait to find out the other names- on with the story, Trip."

"Only as long as Commander Tucker's name is T'Rip," Malcolm muttered darkly under his breath, causing Hoshi to giggle.

Trip scanned the data pad he held. "Okay, where was I?" He found his place and tried to imagine himself back in the other world. Once he had achieved that, he carried on reading: "Sub-Lieutenant Maled, return fire!"

"_No affect, Captain Joncher-"_

"_Joncher?_" The Captain protested.

"It is a highly - unusual - Vulcan name," T'Pol added from her seat between Archer and Hoshi at the table in the Mess Hall.

"What else was Sean supposed to call 'im? Arcon?" Trip defended his nephew, his eyes flashing.

"It would sound more Vulcan." Hoshi supported her captain, despite finding the whole thing hysterical.

Trip scowled and shifted around in his chair while taking a sip of his lukewarm coffee. "If ya like, I'll tell Sean to change ya name- got to tell you, though. He's likely to start crying."

"No, no, it's fine, as I'm sure is Malcolm's." Archer assured.

"Absolutely Beautiful." Malcolm added, looking as if he would rather be shot by his own phase pistol than be the cause of nine-year-old Sean Tucker's crying fits.

Trip eyed them suspiciously, passing the ketchup to Travis who was eating unconcernedly.

"Ah'll carry on then, shall I?"

_Captain Joncher screwed up his nose, trying not to get his ears in a twist as he-_

"Can I please carry on reading without being interrupted!" Trip practically yelled, as his human friends collapsed around the table, tears of mirth pouring down their cheeks.

As soon as they appeared to get themselves together, the Captain caught sight of an offended T'Pol's ears, and broke down again. He soon stopped when he saw Trip's thunderous face. If there was anything Trip couldn't bear, it was having his family made fun of.

Once they had settled down, Trip, once more, began to read…

_-trying not to get his ears in a twist as he thought of a possible solution to his dilemma. However, before he could come up with something, the ship moved away and disappeared into a wormhole the ship itself had created._

"_Any ideas on who they were by looking at the design of their ship, Commander?" The Captain asked._

"_None." _

"_Go through the ship's database; try to come up with a design similar to that ship. Crewman H'Shi can help you."_

"Why am I crewman?" Hoshi sulked.

"Vulcans do not have ensigns," T'Pol explained. "I'm sure Mr Tucker's nephew felt that crewman was the most suitable rank for you. I imagine Mr Mayweather, as a fellow ensign, will also be of that rank."

Somewhat mollified, Hoshi gestured for Trip to carry on. "At least I have a nice name."

"_Have you found anything yet?" The pilot asked H'Shi._

"_No, Mavis-"_

Travis spat his food all over T'Pol. "Sorry, Commander." He turned to look at Trip. "_Mavis! _That's my _grandmother's_ name! Why couldn't I be Trather or Traver? Even Visma would have been better."

Phlox beamed. "This is rather exciting. I imagine I would remain Denobulan, though I would not object to becoming a Vulcan or a Human. As I only have one name, there would be nothing to gain in changing it, even still, I'm looking forward to finding it out."

Archer suddenly thought of something. "Does this story have a title?"

Trip scrolled back up to the top. "'The Adventures of the V.H.C.V. Soval', from the series: 'Polly and the Vulcans'." Trip grinned for the first time, giving T'Pol a sideways glance to see her reaction to the Humanised version of her name. Aside from a tightening in her jaw, Trip detected nothing.

"Do you think V.H.C.V stands for Vulcan High Command Vessel?" Hoshi asked of no one in particular.

"That would be my guess," Reed told her, as Trip carried on to read.

"_No, Mavis. There's nothing at all in the database."_

_Suddenly, Commander Polly collapsed._

_To Be Continued…_

"To be continued!" Phlox exclaimed. "I was looking forward to my character being introduced." He stood up. "Ah well, it looks like I'll have to wait until the next data-stream comes in. That is unless you have it with you, now?" Phlox asked Trip hopefully, who shook his head.

"The next data-stream comes in a week's time. I suggest we all gather here again. I am also- curious- as to the fate of this 'Polly'." T'Pol added, joining the Doctor by standing up.

Everyone followed suit, and headed off in their separate directions as they either went back to duty, or to their quarters to go to sleep.

"See ya in the mornin' Polly!" Trip shouted to the Vulcan down the corridor to where she was heading to her quarters after leaving Trip in front of his.

"'See you', T'Rip." T'Pol shot back as his door closed. Trip smiled.

* * *

A/N- Please review. By the way, I have no idea if Vulcans have ensigns or not, but in this story, they don't. 


	2. Polly has the Pox

_**

* * *

Key.**_

Sentences/ words that are **_bold _**and in_ italics, _are direct thoughts.

Random _italic _words in a sentence are emphasis.

"_Italics with speech marks"_ signify that what is being said within the speech marks is some distance away.

**Bold** is Onomatopoeia.

"**_Bold, italic, and speech marks"_** signify telepathic speech.

**

* * *

A/N- Back again! Oh, and something I didn't mention before, was when this is set. I'm thinking somewhere in season 2.****

* * *

Disclaimer- The characters and Sean himself belong to me. (I gave Trip's nephew in 'Breaking the Ice' a younger brother.)**

* * *

Chapter 2- Polly Has the Pox

"Hey, Cap'n," Trip called, when he saw his friend enter the Mess Hall.

"Is that the new instalment?" Jon smiled, joining everyone else after collecting his favourite meat loaf.

"Yup- fresh of the press." Trip affirmed cheerfully, while T'Pol gave him a puzzled look over his comment.

"Let's hear it, then." Phlox motioned with his fork.

"Story Two-" Trip Read, "-Polly has the Pox." He smirked, while T'Pol fumed.

"_Commander!" Mavis cried out, in his unemotional Vulcan way, when he saw his superior officer crumple on the floor like a drink carton that had been crumpled and thrown onto the floor by someone."_

"Using similes already," Trip stated proudly.

"_We must call Doctor P'Lox!" H'Shi said, urgently, before going to make the call._

"Ah," Phlox said cheerfully, amongst the snorts. "I see I have been transformed into a Vulcan female. Interesting. You know, I have always wondered what it would be like being a woman. Having breasts, long hair. Getting cranky every month. Not to mention three husbands." Phlox smiled, happily, while everyone else stared.

Hurriedly, Trip continued.

_After being in sickbay for twelve hours while the doctor made scans, H'Shi, who had stayed with the human commander, was getting tired._

"_By George, I think I've got it." P'Lox announced flatly. "It's Chicken Pox."_

Trip stopped reading to look at T'Pol who looked offended that she had been brought down by a child's disease, though she seemed pleased that it wasn't quite as disfiguring a disease as Smallpox.

He grinned to himself, and scrolled down to the next part of the story.

_After giving H'Shi explicit instructions on the care of Commander Polly, and the orders that no one but the Chief Engineer, Commander Kerp could look after her, he let H'Shi, and Polly, who was now awake, leave._

"Love the name, my friend. It almost sounds like carp, doesn't it? Or perhaps twerp." Malcolm said, a look of bliss showing on his face.

"At least it isn't Trucker, or worse- Chucker." Trip said, causing the humans to once more, laugh.

"Carry on reading, I want to find out more about my feminine self. I'm also interested in why P'Lox entrusted Polly's care only to Kerp." Phlox interjected, "you know, P'Lox seems to be rather incompetent- twelve hours to determine it was chickenpox." He followed up his comment with the last of his cabbage.

T'Pol on seeing this inched her chair closer to Reed's, away from the doctor, knowing, from her Xenobiology studies, that the Denobulan digestive system couldn't handle the gases of many human vegetables- including cabbage. She was just thankful that she had gotten her smell diminishing medication that morning, so it was still at its most effective.

Everyone else nodded at what the doctor had said, grinning at Trip and T'Pol and the implied romance, not noticing what T'Pol had done.

Happy to oblige with the doctor's request, Trip pressed the button that would take him to the next page, and continued.

_Polly was resting on her bed trying not to scratch the rapidly appearing pustules, when the chime from her door sounded. "Come in," she said in her weakened voice._

_In walked Commander Kerp, the most handsomest, and the bestest Vulcan ever, with very fine pointed ears, who was very tall. _

_Polly swooned- she was in lurve!_

"I do _not_ swoon." T'Pol insisted, indignantly.

"I notice the first thing that came out of her mouth wasn't to discredit the fact that she was in love with Commander Tucker." Reed grinned wickedly, knowing, as he had ever since that incident in Shuttlepod one, when Trip had adamantly refused to say he found T'Pol attractive, because she was a Vulcan, that his friend fancied the dickens out of her. He found he enjoyed teasing the pair about it, even though he suspected T'Pol didn't know that Trip liked her, even though, he himself had often caught Trip staring at various bits of the Sub-Commander's anatomy.

"Shut up." Trip said in defence of the Vulcan, picking up the pad once more.

_Polly had secretly been in love with Kerp ever since she had seen him. She thought he had 'an awfully nice bum'. (By the way, Uncle Trip, Auntie Lizzie told me to write that, but she wouldn't tell me why. Would you tell me why?)_

"No." Trip said to his nephew, even though he wasn't there. He shared a look with Malcolm before reading again.

"_Good Evening, Commander." Kerp greeted. "Crewman H'Shi has informed me of my duties. I am to bathe you in Calamine lotion and give you lots and lots of Vulcan neuro-pressure." (Auntie Lizzie helped there, too. What's neuro-pressure?)_

"Good question." Trip turned to look at T'Pol, but she refused to meet his gaze. Instead, Doctor Phlox answered.

"It's a highly intimate form of, well- almost massage. Vulcans stimulate certain pressure points in particular postures. It's almost a way of prompting their bodies to produce their own medicines- I've heard it can even make an insomniac feel rested enough to go to sleep. I've never heard of it being performed on a human before, though I don't see why it shouldn't be."

"Have you ever done neuro-pressure?" Trip wanted to know of T'Pol.

She gave what was almost a glare. "I have been taught how to apply it. Please continue," she changed the subject, rearranging her features into one of nonchalance.

_After lots of bathing and pressurising, they fell asleep in each other's arms._

_To Be Continued…_

"That was a most disagreeable place to stop- and it didn't even have any description!" The Doctor said, obviously disappointed. "You know, his grammar, for the most part, is really quite excellent for a boy so young."

"It says here that Lizzie's been correcting some stuff on everything he's written, and part 3 will come next week." Trip supplied.

"Until Next Week." Captain Archer, stood, and walked away, followed by the others, T'Pol hurrying by, holding her breath as she passed the Doctor.

"Wait," Archer stopped and sniffed. "What's that smell?"

**

* * *

A/N- Please review.**


	3. Pregnant Polly

_**

* * *

Key**_

Sentences/ words that are **_bold _**and in_ italics, _are direct thoughts.

Random _italic _words in a sentence are emphasis.

"_Italics with speech marks"_ signify that what is being said within the speech marks is some distance away.

**Bold** is Onomatopoeia.

"**_Bold, italic, and speech marks"_** signify telepathic speech.

**

* * *

A/N- Welcome, amazing readers! Warning: Mush.**

The 'almost operatic voice' from Phlox near the beginning of the story, refers to the voice he said 'Optimism, Captain' in Broken Bow.

**

* * *

Disclaimer- I don't own them, but I could if someone would lend me the money. I'll even be nice and keep Trip, and let you have the rest. Any offers?**

* * *

Chapter 3- Pregnant Polly

"'Dear Uncle Trip,'" Trip read from the data pad to his dinner companions as they gathered once more at Friday lunch time. "'This is the third one. Do you really like 'em? Even T'Pol? I got stuck on this one, so Auntie Lizzie wrote some more bits.'"

"We're looking forward to it," Malcolm said dryly, knowing what 'Auntie Lizzie' was capable of, while secretly wondering how far the relationship between Kerp and Polly was going to go. "What's the title?"

Trip went to the next page. "Pr… You know, maybe we should just not do this and…"

"No way, Commander. We- you- are reading this. That's an order."

Trip glanced at his most senior officer and nodded. Avoiding looking at T'Pol, he read the title: "Pregnant Polly."

"Congratulations!" Phlox said in his almost operatic voice, giving T'Pol a hug.

"I. Am. Not. Pregnant." T'Pol told him through clenched teeth.

"Right." Phlox removed his arms from the Vulcan and cleared his throat. "On with the story."

_When Polly woke up, she realised Kerp was there, too. "Oh my," she said shrilly. "What have I done? Kerp is a Vulcan, I'm a human- people won't understand."_

_At that moment, the mighty Kerp awoke and stroked her ankle-length chocolate hair with his hand._

"_Do not worry. We'll get through this. I love you, Polly, and I promise- nothing bad will happen. We'll get through this together, with our love. Oh Polly, I love you so much- you are so beautiful. Your eyes are the colour of pennies picked up from the dirt, your hair is glorious, and your teeth are good-'n'-white. I know you love me too, and we'll have lots and lots of babies with pointed ears- Kerp junior, Prince Kerp, Prince Kerp the second, Polly the second… It will be wonderful! Think about it, my love." (Is this mushed up enough? Auntie Lizzie said it needs mush.)_

Trip paused while he wiped his eyes. "That was beautiful." He sniffed before carrying on, not noticing the rest of the groups' faces, T'Pol's included; bore expressions from being flabbergasted to ones of horror and disgust

_Later that day, Polly began feeling an unusual sensation- she was dizzy, and very hungry and tired. Suddenly, without warning, her belly popped out 'til it was bigger than a house and she looked very, very FAT._

"_I am pregnant!" She cried, before waddling her way to sickbay, just like that sow Auntie Lizzie said old Uncle Albert had on his farm._

_As soon as P'Lox caught sight of her patient, she made her lie on a bio bed, which collapsed under the human's weight, and crashed through several decks before stopping in Engineering, right where Kerp was doing diagnostics._

"_Polly? We're having a baby?"_

_After what Auntie Lizzie said would be lots of hard work, Polly gave birth to dodecahedruplets._

"Ouch." Trip commented.

"Isn't a dodecahedron a 3-D shape with 12 faces?" Malcolm questioned.

"Ouch." Trip said again. "Anyway…"

_They named them good names, not Prince Kerp the second. There were six girls and seven boys: Hortense, Ermentrude, Argentina, Kunnigunda, Egburtina, and Cinderella. The boys were named: Dicken, Brazil, Moo Goo Gai Pan, Bruce, Winston, Montgomery, and Jenkins. (Why did Auntie Lizzie say these were good names?)_

"He needs to work on his maths," commented Jon. "Six plus seven makes thirteen, not twelve, and I don't think there's such a thing as dodecahedruplets."

"He's _nine._" Trip protested.

"Carry on reading." T'Pol said quickly.

Trip scrolled down. "'To Be Continued…' I guess I'll see you next week." He stood up, still a bit angry in Sean's defence, and left the room. As soon as they judged he was out of earshot, his friends exploded.

"_Hortense_!" Shrieked Hoshi.

"_Jenkins!_" Travis laughed.

Malcolm gasped, trying to speak, but only managing to hiccup. By the time he managed to speak, everyone had calmed down. His cry of '_Moo Goo Gai Pan!_' set them all off again.

"I'm sure Polly and Kerp had a perfectly good reason as to their choice of names." T'Pol insisted, before leaving their table.

The Captain snorted- "_Egburtina_!"

**

* * *

A/N- The end of another epic. Please let me know if I've got dodecahedron mixed up with another shape. Also, I'm not sure whether I spelt Moo Goo Gai Pan properly. It looks a bit weird.**


	4. What Babies Do

_**

* * *

Key **_

Sentences/ words that are **_bold _**and in_ italics, _are direct thoughts.

Random _italic _words in a sentence are emphasis.

"_Italics with speech marks"_ signify that what is being said within the speech marks is some distance away.

**Bold** is Onomatopoeia.

"**_Bold, italic, and speech marks"_** signify telepathic speech.

_**

* * *

The key does not always apply to all fics** _**

* * *

A/N-** I know, I haven't written on this for a long time, in fact I'm too scared to look and see how long it's actually been. I'm sorry to those of you who believed I had finished writing on it, I just had this huge writers block, and then when I finally wrote something, my laptop detected 'imminent hard drive failure', though since it's in German, my sister and I don't know what do with it. We finally managed to get some, but not all of my fics off it, but we didn't get any of my sisters', or the thousands of fave fics we have saved on there from other people over the years. 

I want to thank all my reviewers, this is the last instalment, so if anyone reviews afterwards, sorry if your name wouldn't be mentioned.

So, thanks to **scarletwitch0**, **trisuns5**, **wolfling**, **Kirsten**,** and Ankan**.Also to **Jacobangel**, and **firebirdgirl**, sorry you thought I had already finished, and sorry that I'm finishing now. Thanks and sorry to **Interstella** for not explaining about the names. See below.

For those of you who didn't understand the names, I split them up, the 'Ma' from Mayweather and the 'vis' from Travis, made Mavis. I could have named him Travmay, Thervis, Matra- lots of different things. I chose Mavis; because it's a real name for a woman- I thought it was funny.

Anyway, moving on…

**

* * *

Disclaimer-** While I don't own the characters, except those you don't see on the show, I do own the story, so feel free to beat me up about how long it's taken.

* * *

Chapter 4- Forever and Ever

"So," Commander Trip Tucker said, edging up to the Vulcan, T'Pol. "You busy tonigh'? I thought we could go somewhere."

"I do not wish to become pregnant."

Trip scowled. "Wha' kind o' man do ya think I am!" He cried outraged.

T'Pol turned to look at him, confused. "I was discussing the work of fiction by your nephew. It made me think about some things, and I have decided that I do not wish to become pregnant. A starship is not the place for children."

"Oh," said Trip. "That was… why are you thinking about tha', anyway?"

"Polly and Kerp's relationship brought light to the fact that there may be a possibility of myself having such a relationship in the future, although, I'm not sure I want that many children at one time- it sounds extremely uncomfortable."

Trip was struck speechless by the fact that the Sub Commander was thinking of having a relationship, and continued walking her to her quarters in silence. What would it be like if he himself had such a relationship? He had had a few, but they didn't last, the last one because of the long distance.

"We have arrived, Commander." T'Pol's clipped voice brought him out of his thoughts, which had led him to considering candidates to have relationships with, and oddly, the Sub Commander's face had popped up more than once. Okay, it was the only face that popped up.

Trip nodded and bade her goodnight. Then, as she turned to go into her quarters, he did something he would previously never had done- he stepped forward, turned her head with his hand, and kissed her full on the lips.

"Night," he said, before turning tail and practically running, leaving a rather dazed and- smiling- T'Pol.

The next morning, Trip ran into the mess hall, where his usual group were sitting. "Sean wrote the next chapter!" He exclaimed, skipping towards the table before catching sight of the Vulcan woman and pausing.

"Anything wrong?" Jon asked his friend, noticing he was acting a bit strange. Come to think of it, T'Pol had been acting out of character all morning too, and actually seemed to be- blushing, this morning.

"Everything's fine, Cap'n. So, you're ready? Remember, last time they named the babies. Okay, here we go."

_It was very hard having babies, all they did was cry and poop in their diapers. Kerp was so sick of changing them that he invented clever machines called: Waste disposal units, otherwise called lavatories. (What's a lavatory is it like a toilet?)_

"Wow, Trip. Now you're famous for inventing the toilet instead of Thomas Crapper." Malcolm said teasingly. "I wonder what they did before that invention."

Trip glared at him before continuing.

_The lavatory consisted of a pot with a vacuum that leads to space. Unfortunately, they had to regularly do space walks to scrape the stuff off the hull and windows until they thought to invent windshield wipers._

_Anyway, the babies did as babies do, they pooped, and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried and pooped and cried-(like Auntie Lizzie said Grandma said you did, uncle Trip, only here it was twelve times over), till Polly fainted with exhaustion._

"Phew," commented Hoshi. "I'm exhausted, never mind her."

"I wonder what'll happen next," commented Phlox. "I imagine P'Lox will attempt to save the day in some amusing way."

_So, the babies pooped and cried, and the two didn't get any sleep, especially Kerp who had to look after them himself after Polly fainted. The next day was a day when they had decided to get married._

_Unfortunately, just as the couple stepped up holding all of their babies, one in each arm…_

"One in each arm?" Travis asked incredulous, "that would mean they had six arms each!"

"I'm sure it was an hones' mistake." Trip said firmly.

_Unfortunately, just as the couple stepped up holding all of their babies, one in each arm, Maled and Mavis stepped up and got married instead._

Travis spat his drink all over the table and Malcolm gasped in horror. "How could he!" He exclaimed. "I am not gay!"

"Can I finish? This is the last instalmen'." Trip said this while giving Malcolm a 'yeah-right-I-know-you're-gay-and-you-think-I'm-hot kind of look. He seemed to have forgotten about the tactical officer's crush on T'Pol's bum.

_So, Polly and Kerp had to wait a whole hour for the Captain to use the lavatory and readjust his wig. Afterwards, they stood up there together, holding hands and gazing into each others eyes, saying things like: 'Your voice is like the sound of a Hippo having a midnight bath'. Anyway, they did that yucko thing grownups think is nice- the kiss, and they were married, forever and ever, after all, they belong together._

Trip wiped a tear from his eye. "Beautiful," he proclaimed.

"It was abrupt." T'Pol pointed out. "There was not much to this mating ritual of humans. I wished to broaden my knowledge."

"And I wished to know what happened to my character, there was no more mention." Phlox was indignant.

"Hang on," Trip said. There's an 'endnote'."

_Maled and Mavis went on honeymoon, Joncher and H'Shi had babies, and P'Lox went insane, and believed herself a cat like Thospor, the Captain's pet. The End._

"It was still abrupt," T'Pol insisted.

"It was perfectly fine ending it there. If you want to know about human mating, go ask someone!" Trip yelled, storming out of the room.

The rest of the table watched interestingly as T'Pol rose from the table to follow Trip.

"Do you think she's going to ask Trip?" Hoshi asked.

"No," said Malcolm. "I don't believe she'll ask. At least not verbally."

"The commanders?" Travis asked, "Together?"

"It's not so hard to picture." Phlox spoke up. "He looks at her, she's jealous whenever he has relations, and they make a fine looking pair. Young Sean Tucker knew what he was doing when he put those two together, though I suspect Elizabeth had some input into it. After all, Trip writes to her, he must have let something slip. What do you think, Captain?"

Archer didn't know what he thought. There was a time when he himself had entertained thoughts of being with the Vulcan, until he realised she harboured no intentions herself. He had assumed it was the Vulcan side of her, but maybe he was just not the right person, maybe Trip was. Perhaps Sean had been right, they were meant to be together, if so, he was glad that his friends had that.

Trip had cooled down by the time he got to his quarters; it was stupid to be angry with T'Pol over such a little thing. **_I should apologise,_ **he thought. Turning around to walk back the way he came and say sorry to the Vulcan, he was surprised to bang into her.

"Sorry," he said, pulling her from the floor. "About being angry, and now, too."

"It's okay." T'Pol said. "Why did you kiss me yesterday?" She looked directly into his eyes, and Trip had to answer truthfully.

"I wanted to." He said softly. "It sounded pretty good in the story, didn't it? Forever and ever, being with someone you belong with, who you love."

"But not the babies. I don't want dodecahedron shaped offspring."

Trip blinked. "I don' think that's what he was getting' at, he just meant twelve at a time, but got confused, really, it could happen to anyone."

T'Pol nodded. "One day I would like children, however, and I'll need someone to fulfil that, of course I'll have to know that person first…"

"Are you askin' me on a date, Sub Commander?"

"I believe I am. It is part of human mating is it not?"

"Yes, it is. As is this." Leaning forward, he kissed her softly on her lips, and T'Pol sighed despite herself. When he went to pull back, he found he couldn't as T'Pol was clinging on to him.

"I believe we should date later. Now…" She stopped her sentence and waited.

"We get naked?"

"The phrase will suffice. I was thinking. Children on a starship wouldn't be so bad with someone to help."

"One step at a time.

**_

* * *

_A/N-** I know, it was a bit of a weird, abrupt ending, and you'll probably hate it and say I ruined the story. Please tell me what you think. The reason it ended quickly was one, I planned on ending it soon anyway, and two, I'm trying to end my current stories so I won't be writing on so many and leaving you readers in the lurch all the time, waiting years for the story to finish. 


End file.
